Terrible Gardener

When I ponder the list of my personal garden disasters I smile, recalling this story about my former boss, who had a mischievous sense of humor. 

He told us how he was leading an evening tour around Wave Hill and one of the group kept chiming in about plants in her own garden. 

"Oh, when I tried that, it just died after one season."

"I'm always having trouble getting those to flower!" 

Continuing his attempt to relay interesting details about the thriving specimens that were right there in front of them, she wouldn't let up whining about her botanical frustrations at home. 

"Last year I planted those and they never came up!" 

Exasperated, and noting the other tour members' visible annoyance, he addressed her smiling,

“You’re a terrible gardener” 

He chuckled as though he were just teasing her. This apparently shut her up.

My roses were beautiful this spring, finally reaching a mature size that fills out the border I envisioned. Look how tiny they were in this post when I first planted them!

You can't easily see the signs in these pretty pictures that all is not well, though it was already visible: the twisted, thorny clusters and burnt looking foliage of Rose Rosette Disease. Incurable and transmitted via the eriophyid mite, this condition means that your roses must be pulled out roots and all.

Easy Does It™ ‘Buff Beauty,’ and Apricot Drift® all have to go. I doubt I would repeat any of these varieties, but I will plant more roses at some point.

This doesn't exactly make me a terrible gardener, but I feel like one. It's not my fault that those stupid mites hopped on and infected my plants, but it would've been more responsible of me to have taken care of them in a timely manner.

They're still sitting there all fried looking making a significant contribution to the trashed nature of my garden right now. Volunteers are welcome to help me put them out of their misery.

Originally published April 28, 2019